So, not content with getting an 11% pay rise, bringing their undeserved wages up to £75k, MPs now want their expenses to be paid on a flat rate basis. Sounds a bit like another pay rise to me.
Extra money on top of the wages they’re already getting? Yup, that’s a pay rise. I’m a bit clever like that. Obviously a mutant peasant with a few rogue brain cells that just won’t stop thinking logically! At times like this, I truly wish I was as obliviously thick as the government would like to believe.
Thing is, we’re all too busy worrying about fracking and porn to give a shit about wasting even more money on MPs, so we’ll just keep paying what the government want us to and feel lucky each day we don’t slip down a sinkhole, drink contaminated water…or see a pair of massive tits and a vagina sucking a rugby ball!
I mean, we already have enough to be worried about, don’t we! Hey…come back! Stop Googling that!
Why would we even notice these poor MPs assuming the right to flat rate expenses so they don’t have to feel bad about claiming for things the rest of us can’t even afford? How dare we insist MPs continue to fill out expense forms to claim for their second homes, lavish restaurants and anything else they want to buy.
£20,000? Really? They’re actually asking for £20,000? Can I ask for that and just get it? Can I? I want to afford a second home and I want to afford posh restaurants, so I can sit there with my ten chins and waffle on about how the economy is being fucked up more and more by the minute and I want to be an arrogant wanker who just asks for money because I’m too shy to fill in expense forms!
Are they fuck shy of filling out expense forms!? Have you ever met our government before? SHY?!! OH MY ACTUAL GOD!
John Bercow reckons it’s too much effort, time, hassle…or whatever tossing reason…for MPs to fill out expense forms. God…I feel sorry for them…let’s just bung ‘em £20,000 each to take the pressure off, shall we? It’s just too much for them, you see…claiming OUR money for THEIR lifestyles.
Not too much hassle for them to beg £20,000 out of us, though, is it? WTF!
Matthew Sinclair, of the Taxpayers’ Alliance said, ”Many taxpayers will see this as a stitch-up,”
Um…’see this as a stitch-up’? NO! It IS a stitch-up!
Sorry, but all this talk of austerity and keeping a close eye on how much taxpayers’ money is being spent on MPs’ own lavish lifestyles is just a load of old claptrap. We will no longer be able to scrutinize MPs and their spending habits, which means we really ARE being legally robbed.
Why should MPs be allowed an extra £20,000 per year to spend on whatever they like without the requirement to itemize any of their outlays? Why should their wages be subsidised by OUR money so they can afford things we can’t?
…and why can’t we afford them? Oh, I dunno…is it because we’re too skint from paying into a welfare system that IS FAILING!
Did you hear that, MPs? FAILING. The welfare state is FAILING, the economy is FAILING, everything this government touches is FAILING and…why’s that? BECAUSE MPs ARE FAILING!
…and yet, we’re still going to pay them whatever they want so they don’t have to worry about being skint or asking for money.
So much for their frozen pay rises. They’re certainly making up for it now, aren’t they? Doesn’t feel nice, does it? Having to muck in with the rest of us peasants and only receive a mere pittance of a pay rise, or nothing at all, each year.
And, as usual, David Cameron is bleating on about how he thinks it’s a bad idea…AND, as usual, he can’t do anything about it because he’s just a random guy we voted in as the leader of the British Government. You know… that Prime Minister geezer who talks the talk and walks away when things go bang in his face. What the fuck is he for?
That’s right, David Cameron (you’re the Prime Minister, btw), while the rest of us are filling out countless forms and crawling cap-in-hand for every single little piddly, poxy, crappy scrap of money…why don’t you and your MPs just sit there and have your expenses slapped in your laps. Don’t mind us.
Fucking joke.
